ice cold sholder

thats what you get when you try to work hard towards something.

50/50

good things happen, get noticed.

or you get shit thrown in your face.

whatever works.

Roxy, xhy

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do
But do you want to come on
Scooch on over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Come on and open up your mind and see like me
(I won't hesitate)
Open up your plans and damn you're free
(No more, no more)
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, there's no need
(There's no need to complicate)
There's no need to complicate
(Our time is short)
'Cause our time is short
(This is our fate)
This is, this is, this is our fate
I'm yours

Oh, I'm yours
Oh, I'm yours
Oh, whoa, baby you believe I'm yours
You best believe, best believe I'm yours
***************************************************

I haven't heard from you for almost 2 days now.
I thought i was going to go nuts.
But maybe its for the best so i can face the reality
but it was funny, this song came on the radio while i was jogging
a smile came to my face.

i dunno how to explain or describe what the hell ever happened to me that moment
but instead of feeling depressed or alone, i just felt good.

the song reminds me of you and the good times.
all i can do is smile and see your face smiling back nothing bad nothing sad.

when i'm not talking with you i just hope the best for you and hope your smilin or laughin.

i might be a bit clingy but thats just me, whether i'm a friend or lover.
sometimes i might over do it, its just me.
people like to say they want it straight forward and blunt, but i guess theres a hipocrit in all of us
somethings are thought to be complicated, like just a simple hello or 2 minutes to write a message to someone, when you think about it, it doesn't take long, there are tons of other shit out there that are complicated like..... surgery or whatever.

i'm me, i want someone to tell me they want me around, i like random messages, i don't care what they say, i just like to know someone likes my company.. and be rather blunt and forward about it.

but thats where i go the extra mile.

i'm sure i fail in a lot of places. but eh, thats me, so here i am, tell me what you want.

I just love ya girl, love ya in the way thats hard to understand.
i could sit here and try to explain it.
there are days where i go and don't talk to you.
or get a message from you.
i look pass that and just wait for the day i hear from you again.
look at every moment spent with you like its the last
i cherish every second
at the same time in the back of my head i know it could be the last
someone could find me, or someone could find you
but regardless of boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, millions of miles inbetween
i still love ya girl.
even computer less and internetless
i'll still wonder about you
look up at the moon and hope you look up and share the same thoughts i do.
its there, your here, i'm here, your there, i'm there

don't give up on something you want, just change the way you have to hold on to it.
somethings can be taken or held in all sorts of ways.
but you have to open up your mind to the differents ways.

lol i'm an asshole.. i don't know anything or even 100% about what i just said up there, but its stuff that came from my heart/head so take it as it is, its not close minded, i know there are a gazillion different situations, but i just try to make the best of mine and try and let someone know that i'm here, their not alone, i love'em no matter what.

I love you Roxanne A. B.
Mahal Kita.

empty

no i miss you
no i love you
no messages
mailbox empty
txt box empty
voicemail empty

here i look for a glimpse of me
but yet i find nothing
the heart can be oh so cruel sometimes.

my emo moment for the day, i know... its short lived XD

want

how do you know that your wanted?

Hey blog,

yeah.. i'm talking to mah blog.

sooo lets see.. how else could today go anymore wrong.

I almost show up late to work today, i was opening the store, but i made it in time, i forgot to put one sock on and didn't get a chance to take a shower.

I felt like ass today and i felt bad, i worked 10am - 9pm.

I was exhausted the night before, i didn't get to spend anytime with my baby i tried to stay up but i couldn't i passed out on my chair all crooked necked n stuff, i felt like shit for that.

i didn't get a chance to talk to her before i went to work, i was too busy scrambling for clothes, shoes, keys, and badge.

but now that i think about it, all it would have taken was 15 seconds to tell her i loved her. 9 seconds to walk to the laptop and open it up, 6 seconds to type "I love you" and hit enter.

i'm sorry. I feel like shit.

i texted her as soon as i had a free second to talk on my phone.

i dunno, she didn't seem to happy.

i can't do anything else but say i'm sorry

I can't give her a hug.

I can't show up at her door steps with plastic flowers, or real flowers.

I can't give her candy to sweeten the mood.

i can't sneak an apology kiss on her.

I can only say i'm sorry, and tell her how bad i feel.

My new job has me working extra hard, i'm an assistant manager for a store.

I love you baby, more than you think you know.

i care about you, i think about you.

I tell the moon to take care of you when i get the chance to talk to him.

There are just somethings that must get done in life in order to get to the next step.

You know i try to be here, there, wherever you need me to be.

Today was rather good still. I ran into a friend i hadn't talked to in awhile, went to lunch with them today and caught up some.

other than that, i sit at home in front of the screen, and wait for my love to come back to me.

hrm lets see, today i opened the store i worked at for the first time.. everything was going smoothly till i tried to call the person that was supposed to tell me where the bank was, so i could deposit the money from the previous day and get some change for the store.. something was wrong with their phone.. ends up being their phone was turned off, soooooo i got everything else done except for the deposit and change. but erm.. i guess the real reason for this blog today is for everything below:

I really care about someone, sometimes caring for someone is more than just love, if you don't understand that, ask the exboyfriend or the exgirlfriend that still stands by your side and supports you when they can, or sometimes they go that extra mile for you, they can give you the answer you seek.

Of course not all the answers are gonna be the same.

I dunno how i can tell this girl how much i care about her, i just keep telling her no matter what, in love in friendship whatever, i just want to be there to support her, be there for her. I hope she knows it.

i also don't mean it in that sick twisted stalker way 8P or the perv molesting type of way. (you sick people!!!)

today was full of surprizes! full of events. i'm not gonna go into much detail..

today i learned something

the courage to throw myself out at someone

and deal with doubt. you won't know till you ask right? or rather won't know till you find out.

I went to the park today.

I told someone i love them.

and then i went home to watch a movie with someone special to me,

Someone that will always hold a place in me, a very special place

I love life, its always full of surprises, full of changes, full of people and their different ways of fitting into the equation. i don't mean it in like the green peace loveydovey kind of way, i guess i adore the challenges, in a sick twisted way.

its like a sick addiction, almost sadistic sometimes.

but to be able to live on daily, to fight those battles.

yep yep.. I love this girl, shes a million miles away from me and shes 1 person that would shine out of a million gazillion other peoples.

But ""I""(yeah stress and yell the I, i know ya can) L O V E H E R.

what do you do if your unsure?


anyway..

so whats the definition of lost or unwanted?

yeh yeh.. i'm sure theres tons of answers definitions.

but i guess everyone has their own form of happiness.

am i losing mine?

whats the reason to do anything anymore?

definition of lazy? or being emo? or just questioning everything?

so whats it called when you question everything? because your unsure?

but i mean.. you can be sure about reg. stuff.. daily shit, and who your care / love n shit.
its just the other stuff that tangles all that fucking shit together..

am i gonna get in trouble for posting curse words?

oh wells.

losing contact with friends and finding out who your friends really are is fucking horrible.. lol

i gotta let some of this anguish(inner anger?)??? (i guess i'll call it that) out.. or i just get all fucking dark.

i just smiled.. how sinister is that?

arrgg!! work in a few hours. love.

so yeah this blog doesn't make any fucking sense, cuz i just read over it

totaly random!